A Girl Named Norman

Like millions of turkeys every year, Norman was destined for the Thanksgiving table.

But thanks to an interesting twist of fate, some well-timed phone calls, and a few soft hearts, Norman celebrated last Thanksgiving with the rest of the crew at Catskill Animal Sanctuary.

When WSPK, a Beacon-based radio station, advertised “turkey bowling” in their parking lot, the calls and e-mails, all of the "you've GOT to save the turkeys!!" variety, poured in.

SURELY the event was a prank. Curious and concerned, though, my assistant Julie and I drove down to Beacon, videocamera tucked beneath Julie's arm. There, though the on-air dj bragged about "the crowd," a mere seven spectators stood in the cold, waiting to bowl frozen turkeys at ten pins borrowed from a nearby alley.

A blue SUV pulled up with "Norman," the frightened turkey borrowed from a nearby turkey grower, in the back. Evidently, the radio station needed a prop.

"Who's gonna get him out?" a heavy woman with heavier makeup asked.

"It's a she, not a he, and you need to be careful. She's already terrified," I said. Julie stood just behind us, recording the spectacle.

A guy reached in, grabbing Norman by the wing.

"That is NOT how to hold a bird," I stated flatly. Wrap your arms around her so you can pin her wings and support her weight. Otherwise, you'll both get hurt."

Norman and her cage were set up between two loudspeakers. The dj continued to spin the story, describing how the turkey was having fun, the crowd was having fun...golly gee weren't we all having FUN? Meanwhile, all Julie and I saw were a terrified bird, seven cold people, and three Butterball carcasses in plastic bags waiting to be slid down a "bowling alley" comprised of plastic garbage bags.

To be continued!